So…. it’s 2014. Time flies but don’t we all know that. Another year has gone by just like that and I’m so excited for all the things that this coming new year will bring. More adventures, more love, more food, more fun, more living. I guess 2013 has been a pretty good year for me, a year of growth and learning how to manage my time and learning how to deal with different types of people.
I guess in 2014, my resolution would simply to be to be a better daughter, a better friend, and to figure out what it is that I really love doing. I’ll be graduating in a year and a half and I really want to find a job that I enjoy because so many things have happened lately that have made me realise life is really too short to be anything but happy. Looking forward to my exchange in Europe and yet I can’t help but feel a little apprehensive as well. It’ll be the first time in my life travelling “alone”, although of course I’m essentially travelling with a friend. Hopefully I’ll learn to more independent and less blur and I’m looking forward to seeing beautiful places and learning more about the culture in Europe. Really blessed to have a constant group of close friends I can confide in and be myself with even if we don’t meet for really long due to school and conflicting schedules. ❤ Megalove for ya’ll (you know who you are).
Incidents in 2013 have made me realise quite a bit about myself and I thought I would just pen them down here to clear my head and self-reflect a little.
I think honesty is something that I really appreciate. Because I’m not someone who asks someone a question because I want them to agree with me but because I really do want their opinion on it. Even if I do not agree, I will really appreciate the fact that the person is being truthful to me and try my best to see it from their perspective.
Nevertheless, I think that there is a difference between being honest and being cruel. There are ways to put across a point nicely in such a way that it will not embarrass the person receiving feedback; I usually do my outmost best to deliver honesty in a tactful manner.
Of course realistically speaking, it’s also really important to look at the situation and the person you are dealing with in that situation. Some people are extremely adverse to hearing anything remotely negative about themselves and become extremely defensive, and if one is dealing with these sort of people, then I think it is pointless trying to put a point across even if they are asking for your opinion because obviously, they just want you to agree with them.
2. Communication and interaction
Most of my closer friends will know that I’m someone who hardly gets angry except when provoked repeatedly over the same time of behaviour. I also can’t stand it when people try to control me or make me do something I absolutely see no point in doing or dislike. If I ask, “why?” and you can’t give me a valid reason, I will never do it. I’m the type of person that if you treat well, will treat you back equally well. If you ask nicely, I will be much more likely to do it willingly. But if you are nasty, don’t expect me to ne nice either. I have zero tolerance for people who always insist of having their way at the expense of all their other friends’ inconvenience and I would honestly rather not be friends with them if I had a choice.
3. Emotions, forgiveness, letting go, moving on.
This year, a few of my closer friends have commented that I am unemotional in the sense that I get over things very quickly. Or in the way that if there are problems, I won’t bother fixing it if it’s too much of a hassle, and move on almost immediately without looking back. I will admit that this is true to a certain extent.
I’ve given up many people in my life because I think that I will be happier without them in my life. I guess I’m the sort of person who doesn’t really believe in second chances. It may sound heartless but I truly believe in this saying, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” If a person can betray you or hurt you deeply once, there’s probably a high chance they will do it in the future. Certain people, I’ve chosen to let go of them and move on with my life because (selfish as this may sound), I know in my heart and mind that they are only going to hold me back from better things now and in the future.
However, that is not to say that I hold grudges because I don’t. In all honesty, I think I forgive and let go of things pretty easily. Letting go and moving on is different from totally alienating the person which I think is unnecessary and awkward. My stand is that I just won’t be as close to them as I used to and treat those people more like acquaintances and hi-bye friends who I will still be on friendly terms with. Just because I do not wish to be close to someone does not mean that I think that person is a bad person. Sometimes, it’s just the simple reason that two people are too different in character or what they think is right and wrong to help each other in their personal growth. It’s just more beneficial to give each other your blessing and move on without bearing grudges. I think, when you hold a grudge against someone, the only one who suffers is yourself. Forgiveness benefits yourself, not the other party, because you are ensuring that you are solely responsible for the way you feel and ensuring that the other party has no emotional hold over you.
In a way, I guess, there’s only one chance when it comes to entering my heart. Be it friendship or romantic relationships. If you don’t treasure it, too bad. I’ll just leave without looking back. Of course, I’m not talking about quarrels or things like that because those are normal in close friendships or relationships. What I’m talking about is betrayal; lying about your intentions and breaking important promises. For me, that’s the dealbreaker. To others, this might be acceptable but for me, I trust those close to me not to do this and I surround myself with people who feel that this too, is important.
I guess I’m someone who doesn’t really like to talk about the way I feel often, not because I’m afraid to, but because I feel lazy to. Haha, I know that sounds kinda stupid. But it’s something along the lines of “its already over and I’m so lazy to explain the whole thing to you because I’m already over it.” Lol! But if there’s time one day and if you really wanna know I can tell you about it. Even if I feel hurt, I honestly get over it pretty quickly because to me, holding on to hurt is a waste of energy which can be channelled into doing other things.
I think growing up, going through different experiences and meeting different people gives you this invaluable thing called PERSPECTIVE, a thing that no amount of formal education can give you. I love listening to other people’s stories and hearing about things from their point of view because I think it really broadens the mind. Honestly, I used to be pretty idealistic and see many things in the form of black and white. But now, I’m more able to see things from other people’s perspectives and realise that many a time, the answers are in grey and not to judge if we do not know the full story. Of course, this broadening of perspective has no effect whatsoever on the personal beliefs that I’ve had since I was young, but it definitely allows me to understand better why sometimes people do the things they do, even if I don’t necessarily agree with them.
Okay, ending off a super wordy post rather abruptly because I need to go settle some admin stuff for my exchange. Urghhh, hate settling this kinda paperwork. Waking up early tomorrow to exercise at MacRitchie and I’m rather excited! Hehe. Goodnight everyone, God Bless and have a wonderful 2014! X